?

Log in

hatchling thing. lol   
12:50am 08/09/2008
   
     

(1 new friend | Share Your Jello)

 
hey peoples   
08:03pm 22/04/2008
  Just updating i just hauled my HUGE bed up the stairs here at my new apartment. and i must say this i am glad that my dorm room at oshkosh came with a bed because i would have died........i am not kidding.... but yeah i am mostly moved into my new apartment and my old apartment just needs to be cleaned and a few things packed up.... *shrugs* i hate moving. in other news adam is moving in with me and he still hasn't told his parents yet.........>.< i am going to hide in my closet pretending that nothing but pink fluffy bunnies exist because i am pretty sure they are going to kill me the harlot girlfriend....  
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
boyfriend rant you might not want to read....   
12:52pm 11/03/2008
 
mood: i hate boys
I really don't know what is wrong with me lately. Adam and i are having a lot of problems mostly stemming from him lying to me and him not wanting to move in with me. my whole family is freaking out and trying to get me to break up with him but i just don't think i can. my mother thinks i deserve better and i agree to a point but i promised adam that i would marry him and i just can't imagine not dating him anymore. i agree that he is sometimes a awful boyfriend....correction most times an awful boyfriend but he loves me and he has always been there for me. i just don't know what to do at this point. and i really feel like i can't talk to anyone about it. renee calls (and renee yes i know you are reading this) and i just can't explain right how i feel about this so i have been really short with her lately. i am still normal happy me in every other area of my life. actually happier than i have been in awhile but i keep feeling drug down by adam who depresses me a lot. I mean we have been together three and a half years and does he even want to live with me? no. he says that he doesn't think that its the right time, because if we move in together it might cause stress on our relationship and we might break up. and my argument to that is well if you don't move in your going to put stress on our relationship and we might break up. i don't know. i am so confused by myself. lol.and him lying to me i understand a little. but i wish he would have told me before i found out from his friend that he had been lying to me.



OTHER NEWS:

my dad made my friend jami's wedding cake. it was supposidly really good and it turned out way cute. dad and i are getting along a little better now. we have been working on crafty stuff for a few months now. its really just my step-mom that gets in the way at the moment. she doesn't like me to come over when she isn't there and she always changes our plans for us. and it just gets frustrating to have this other woman in my dads life that i am not even that fond of....

oh and my mom went of her first date since the seperation which has been like.........5 or 6 years....maybe seven...anyways way to go my mom! i guess her date was boring but i am just proud that she went on a date.

SUMMER TRIPS:

I am for sure going to UTAH and Tenessee this summer... i might go to sonshine music festival and maybe california. i am also going to maybe try and squeeze a wisconsin trip out as well. we shall see. oh glorious tax money. lol.
 
     

(5 new friends | Share Your Jello)

 
   
07:13pm 29/08/2007
  hey all just checking in. my internet is still acting funny. so sorry for the lack of updates. this is like my first day off since i got back from the wedding.... whew i am tierd. but yeah having a good time back here. watching titanic with my friend courntey and talking to steven online.....other than that just catching up on sleep and stuff. *mwahhhhhh mushing things on titanic.....almost makes me want to be sick* oh well going to go off and be lazy some more.  
     

(1 new friend | Share Your Jello)

 
poke   
10:37am 24/08/2007
 
mood: grumpy
i am home! yay sorry internet isn't working great here. so i am now sitting at the mall and checking my e-mail for the first time in oh my gosh...........3 weeks. and i am posting here. starting to work on icons for those who know. and yeah..... i am overworked underpaid. and stressed out. but yay for me. and just so everyone knows my dad is being dumb and is now not in my good graces....grumbles.
 
     

(1 new friend | Share Your Jello)

 
today started way to early   
10:52am 21/06/2007
  so yesterday i was watching anime yesterday and being kinda lazy and then i randomly get this phone call from this random number. i answer and its this company that wants me to come into an interview......at nine the next day. I guess Tasha H recomended me for this job. so i went into an interview today and it sounded pretty sweet. 15 dollars an hour and i only need to work 3 hours a day. yay. but yeah. don't know if that is exactly what i want. but i am going to take a nap.  
     

(2 new friends | Share Your Jello)

 
HI!   
11:30pm 17/06/2007
  I HAVE INTERNET! its like the first time in like almost a year that i have had the internet. yay. i am mega sleepy. how was everyones fathers day? i called my grandpa and sent him a car.  
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
A christmas update   
05:02pm 06/12/2006
 
mood: artistic
Hey everyone i thought i would post quick before i went to work. Just wanted to wish everyone a happy holidays. and yeah i have been really busy and its mostly school work family and my boy. but yeah. Adam and i are doing alright we fight more but i think that it is "better" for our relationship. we used to never fight and now we have our share of little tifts but yeah . i don't know how to explain it more than that. I bought myself a leather coat. well actually adam's dad bought it but i promised to pay him back in 2 weeks because i don't want that nice of a gift from someone. All my classes are going pretty well. except for DRAWING ONE! i can't believe this i have always thought of myself as a pretty good artist but i am currently getting a C in the class cuz i "don't put forth enough effort. so oh well. i really need to crank out some drawings this week. Work is kinda sucky with christmas so close it is busy every day and just one 4 hour shift feels like a full 9 hour shift. I am also applying to my program on friday so wish me luck with that. i am WAY nervious but there isn't much i can do about that. oh well well i said i would leave for work at 5 and it is now 5:01 so i will try really hard to be better and post more before christmas. LOVE YOU GUYS!
 
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
Birthday   
03:14am 18/07/2006
  YAY i'm nineteen as of yesterday. i was busy all day and yeah.......sorry if i didn't get ahold of you. well sleep is needed. <3  
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
   
02:26am 16/06/2006
  meh......... long day. but i am in trouble.......just opend a letter from RCTC if i don't pay off the 1000 i owe them by july 1st i get my statment sent to the government and i am going to owe a lot of money......i can't fix it. and i am not sure what to do but yeah. all i have been paying is my oshkosh bill thinking that i can finish that and then pay RCTC but guess not.... i am going to be sick. i don't know what to do. meh *freaks out* if i give them everything from my paychecks this month i will still only hit 800.....meh i am crying. going to bed. will think on it.  
     

(3 new friends | Share Your Jello)

 
   
12:31am 13/06/2006
  Computer had HUGE virus. all better now. yay for restoring the ENTIRE thing. but yeah. so thats what is going on here. yay.  
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
   
01:49am 03/06/2006
 
mood: lonely
hey.......its been a long time. just need to empty a little bit of my soul here tonight. my heart is just to.........scrambled for me to sleep. and i want to so bad. My dad is going to die. he just had his leg amputated and its just getting worse.....and he is abusing my grandmother and i want to take her out of that so bad. I went to counciling today. we talked about my mother a lot. and how she never ever supports me like i wish she would. and the fact that i still have nightmares about ken a lot i am going back to my Oshkosh sleeping schedual. and i know thats bad for me. i am trying to kick it but its just not going. things with adam are good. i always worry that i stress him out. like tonight i just cried all over him cuz i just feel empty i feel like he is the only one that really cares and its hard cuz i only see him about once every week and a half to two weeks. and his graduation is tomorrow and i feel like i am ruining it for him. its so important to me that he has a good time or that he enjoys himself that i often try to sacrifice my own feelings of need and in the end just break and get upset with him. and i thrive off of touch......and he is the only one that touches me here. no one gives me hugs or sits next to me. and i am really worried about work. they keep on firing more and more people and i just have this gut feeling that i am going to get fired sooner or later. i have gotten reported by 3 customers in the last 2 weeks. and i just don't know what to do. its not that i am not nice to them its that i wont treat them like they are superior beings than i am. i just won't its stupid. i may work at walmart but that doesn't mean that they can just walk on me, or that i am just scum. i am just as good as a doctor or a business man. i dunno.....i think that is it..........have to buy a skirt and shirt for the graduation tomorrow. i miss people i wish people would just comment on this so that i can tell that i am still alive. that i am here and i do have a place..........
 
     

(2 new friends | Share Your Jello)

 
   
04:19pm 19/04/2006
 

 
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
adam   
12:57am 19/04/2006
  Hmmm life seems hard. i dunno. i worry about adam not going away to college and i know i really shouldn't its not my job nor my responcibility but since we have agree that we want to get married it just seems like.........its part my desision as well. and i am just upset about it i guess.
In other news i finally talked to Whitty for the first time in a long time.....getting close to a year. and yeah it didn't go well. she didn't even acnolage me. and basicly told me not to fuck up adams life. sometimes i really wonder if i have fucked up his life. would he have been happier without me? would he be leaving for college and not staying here to do his generals. he says that it isn't me that is keeping him here but i always worry that it is. and i cry about it. and gosh darn it if i wouldn't send in the applications for him or help him pay for it. my mother has even offered to help. i am just worried that someday he will regret not going. and blame it on me. i dunno thoughts? anyone? i am just so confused as of right now.
 
     

(3 new friends | Share Your Jello)

 
   
11:04pm 21/03/2006
 

Gray Davis
Circle I Limbo

Militant Vegans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Trixies
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates
Circle IV Rolling Weights

General asshats, Hipsters
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Rednecks
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

PETA Members, The Pope
Circle VII Burning Sands

George Bush, Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

 
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
   
10:09pm 17/03/2006
  So all my friends on here. that "supposedly" read my journal. MY QUESTION FOR THE WEEKEND IS.....
If you had the power to eradicate and five words from the English language, what would you eliminate and why?

AND YES, you are helping me with a paper i have to write. :D love you
 
     

(1 new friend | Share Your Jello)

 
   
06:09pm 10/03/2006
 
mood: horny
Hello avid readers. lol. welcome to my first update in forever. i thought i would write just cuz i finished orientation today for wal-mart. I am going to be working 47 hours over spring break. which is more than i am supposed to be allowed so i get overtime my frist week. yay. but anyway. then after i get paid i need to start paying my bills. like to Oshkosh and RCTC which won't be to bad. and i have a TON of homework to do over break so i am freaked out. and yes collin i have Wen off. which i didn't think about at the time but its off so yay for you. i have been really sick lately since my cyst incident. and adam and i have been spending a LOT of time together and are doing v. well. but i am going to take a nap i think so i will talk to you later. <3 Oh and i found out that is Icon that i LOVE so much is actually from Donnie Darko which is a pretty decent movie if i do say so myself.
 
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
   
12:35pm 22/02/2006
 
mood: cold
If you had me alone...locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to
do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me? Respond, then repost
this in your LJ- or don't. You might be surprised with the responses you get.
Kinda took this from collin's journal.........
 
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
   
11:18am 28/01/2006
 

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®
 
     

(Share Your Jello)

 
   
02:57pm 27/01/2006
  HASH(0x8bd0a80)
you serve as a mentor 4 the other girls and you

have 9 bears (dolls) you are triela


which gunslinger girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla
oh man i LOVE this anime i just started watching it and it is like AMAZING
 
     

(Share Your Jello)